Friday, May 16, 2008

{crime & punishment}

Post Disclaimer: the information within is based on true facts, but the names and the situation have been witheld to protect the innocent as well as the guilty.

With that being said, here's my rant of the day or maybe should I say thought. Yesterday it would have been a rant, therefore I chose not to post at all. One of my children did something that was wrong and it was wrong towards me as well. So, Mark and I decided that the punishment would be grounding for the weekend. We decided this knowing that this weekend is huge. A huge event that this "child" has been looking forward to, planning for, and non-stop talking about for awhile now with a best friend. But the "wrong" was quite thoughtless and selfish and just plain, well you get it....wrong. So, that is the punishment we decided on, but the "punishment guilt" is getting to me. I know if you are a Mom, you know exactly what I am talking about..."the punishment guilt" is what you get when you issue a punishment for a "crime" and then start re-thinking it, but now its out there!! Its out there! Its said, its done and if you un-do it! They won't respect you and truth be told, this child desperves the "punishment". But you truly do feel sorry when you know how much they would have really enjoyed this event and how much they were looking forward to it. It makes you crazy, we love our kids and don't want to have to do these things, but know that these are necessary growing pains. Mark was so hard core about it and then last night, he comes to me and says that he's re-thinking it. Well, too bad! Its out there, no going back, right!!?? No going back, walking the green mile..........

10 comments:

Lil k said...

I hope your able to stick to your guns. I know exactly how you feel. You hate to punish them. Sometimes the punish is worse on you because of the guilt you feel. I guess it's true what they say about it hurting us much more than it hurts them. Hang in there!

emily said...

It sounds like you are doing the right thing but it certainly isn't easy. Try and have an ok night...

jill said...

if the punishment fits and not an initial over reaction then stick to it.

parenting! who knew so much guilt was involved.

Theresa said...

All I can say is that, although I agree with you, once the punishment has been made you have to stick to it or you lose any control at all, but it's sure going to be a LONG weekend for you!

Delaney Gates said...

Oh, I hope you stick by it! Punishing a kiddo is NOT a party by any means... But we do it because we love them. And they are better for it in the long run. Hang in there! :)

Kazan Clark said...

I think you and your child will be just fine if you break the punishment - sometimes we issue them in the heat of the moment and maybe they are a bit severe. Maybe the IDEA of the punishment and living it for a while is punishment enough - you won't be a bad parent and your child will continue to make mistakes and bad choices regardless if you stick to it or not - so go ahead reward him for undertanding the consequences and break it :) Am I being a bad friend?

Kazan Clark said...

oh yes did I tell you I love your new header? Sorry I did mean too...it's gorgeous and girly :)

gottablogmom said...

Oh girl, I am so there! I always feel so guilty when I have to withhold something fun for the kids because of something they've done. But like you said, gotta stick to your guns. BTW, Are you guys far enough away from those So.Fl wildfires?

chelemom said...

I agree with you, it IS very hard when you punish your kids, but yes, you DO have to stick to your guns! It is only a week.....
Hang in there!

Tara =) said...

I know how you feel! This whole thing that Gracen is going through is hard for me also, but is working so far! Also kids need boundries, if they dont have em they would run rampid and drive you even more crazy!